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| Quote | By | Date |
|---|---|---|
| (Tent allocation) "Thom - is that a girl or a boys name!?...Oh. You're in tent one then." | Dave Rutland | 13-Dec |
| (Team meeting) "Ken-zinny - he's the main exhorter and encourager of the team" | Yvonne | 13-Dec |
| "I would marry you but I have to spend time with my team" (Good advice about what to say when proposed to by a black man) |
Abby | 13-Dec |
| (During preach) "Sometimes you just feel like a butterknife for Jesus" | Abby | 13-Dec |
| "Oh no! I've squashed another bug in my sleep!" | Angela | 15-Dec |
| (At Fitness) "The scriptural reference for this is: Physical exercise profits a little" | Jared | |
| "Cough cough. I really need to give up smoking" | Sharion | |
| "What did you say? Did you say you need to give up smoking?!" | Keryn | |
| "No, I said I have been forgiven and set free by the blood of Jesus Christ" | Sharion | 15-Dec |
| "I know all, I see all, I am full of all." | Abby | 16-Dec |
| (Queuing for showers) "Hey it's raining" | Angela | |
| "Actually it's the hot water tank overflow" | Others | |
| "Oh. I thought it was a cloud picking on me" | Angela | |
| (At the airport) "We've got to go upstairs" | Sharion | |
| "All right, where's the ladder?" | Keryn | 16-Dec |
| "Do you know I found these jandals at the beach." | Angela | |
| "Yeah, do you know I found my jandals too…at the Warehouse!" | Keryn | 16-Dec |
| "Is toilet-bottled water all right?" | Yvonne | |
| "Abby - it doesn't fit under the tap" | Yvonne | |
| "Put it into your mouth and spit it into the bottle" | Abby | 16-Dec |
| "If you are by yourself, grab someone else to wander around by yourself with so you're not by yourself" (Yes, good logic) | Yvonne | 16-Dec |
| "If God had wanted us to fly He would've given us wings" | Dion | 16-Dec |
| (At the airport) "If you see someone who doesn't look like me...oh no worries" | Angela | 16-Dec |
| (Giving a toy dog to a sad looking Joanna) "He says everything will be ok" | Air hostess | 16-Dec |
| (Putting his seatbelt on) "I should've fasted aye" | Dion | 16-Dec |
| "And God raised Him back to death" (Evangelising in the plane while very overtired!) | Keryn | 17-Dec |
| (About fitting in the van - 12 people and their gear in 9 seats) "It's okay, we can squish" | Team | |
| "You can squizz?" | Gerald | 17-Dec |
| (To Angela) "No I don't have long fingernails and I don't want you putting your fingernails up my nose" (okaay) | Keryn | 17-Dec |
| "I'm laughing out my ears" | Angela | 17-Dec |
| "I don't like pus aye, I just prick everything and pull it out and leave holes in myself" (After looking at Angela's pussy toe) | Keryn | 17-Dec |
| "In the name of Jesus be quiet" (sleep-talking to a car alarm) | Keryn | |
| "Hey it worked!" | Angela | |
| "Snore, snore" | Keryn | 17-Dec |
| (To Keryn) "Are you a vegetarian?" | Emily | |
| "No! We don't have children!" | Abby | 18-Dec |
| "Yeah I feel lighter when it's a full moon" | Keryn | 18-Dec |
| "So did you hang with girls for heaps of your life?" | Sharion | |
| ""I always wanted to be called Terry, or maybe it was Toby" | Angela | 18-Dec |
| "Where are these people's parents?" (talking to Amy) | Emily | |
| "I asked them where the bin for the toilet paper was and they looked at me strange, so I thought they didn't understand, so I took them to the toilet and said, 'We can't put the toilet paper in the toilet, so where do we put it? Where's the bin?' And they said, 'No, no! You put it in and flush!'" | Thom | 18-Dec |
| "We must look really immature aye - we go to bed at half past eight, and we don't know how to go to the toilet properly!" | Abby | 18-Dec |
| "Dave, as a leader I think you need to act as a role-model for bed getting-off" | Abby | 18-Dec |
| "We have to put on sunscreen because we burn and go crispy like sausages - we sizzle" | Abby | |
| "But that's not funny - it's real!" | Abby | 19-Dec |
| "I've got the muntiest bag in the world! No wonder Katherine got a new one!" | Abby | 19-Dec |
| (Tea-time welcome) "Tin of cocoa, tin of cocoa, cup of milo" | Abby | 19-Dec |
| "Smooth peanut butter - it sticth to the roof of your mouth" | Abby | 19-Dec |
| (During a preach) "We must baptise them, not sprinkle water. That is not baptism, that is washing the face!" | Gerald | 19-Dec |
| "We've just been interprenating other people's tongues" | Thom | |
| "I can interprolate!" | Abby | 19-Dec |
| "Hey Yvonne, how do you let down your pillow?" | Sharion | |
| "You let out the plug and... Hey! Don't let down my pillow!" | Yvonne | 19-Dec |
| (To David) "So you worked at Caltex doing gravedigging?" | Sharion | 19-Dec |
| "This team is full of instant-kiwis man" | Abby | 20-Dec |
| "You know how everyone's unique but some people are original..." | Abby | 20-Dec |
| "The five second rule... is that the concentration span rule?" | Keryn | 20-Dec |
| "Everyone looks like an animal" | Abby | 20-Dec |
| "We had this rabbit stew and every bite was like five bullets" | Yvonne | 20-Dec |
| "Anyway, I was born at a young age" | Yvonne | 20-Dec |
| "When I say lala, you say salama" | Abby | |
| "I thought it was Dar es Salama" | Angela | 20-Dec |
| "There are 13 of us, which one is the traitor? It's the one I give this piece of bread to" | Dion | 21-Dec |
| "In Africa we eat cow, we do not eat dog. What about you?" | Gerald | |
| "That’s how cults start - you have the whole room believing that it was rabbit stew - the rabbit stew cult" | Abby | 21-Dec |
| (Preaching) "I love it when the Holy Spirit bombs me... um... comes to me in my sleep! I dig it... I mean I love it" | Yvonne | 21-Dec |
| (To Keryn) "We were just talking about you in front of your back" | Angela + David | 21-Dec |
| "Jesus is my Sav... What is this?" (Finding mini crunchie chocolates in Thom's pocket) | Denis | 21-Dec |
| (Discussing options for Thom's upcoming birthday) "We could all take one more chapatti than we want, or a potato with a candle - happy birthday to you!... or... we could decorate Denis!" | Abby | |
| "We could do something with the rabbits" | Joanna | 22-Dec |
| (Before preaching the gospel) "Praise the Lord for condemnation" | Dion | 22-Dec |
| "Man I reckon she's closet loony aye" (Talking about Abby's quotes) | David | 22-Dec |
| (To Joanna) "You do very well crying in the dramas - it's quite disturbing" | Abby | 22-Dec |
| "Quiche is of the devil" | Mansfield | 22-Dec |
| (Announced very loudly on the way to church) "I forgot my drugs!" | Mansfield | 23-Dec |
| "Do you need some COz?" (Asking if we need H2O) | Gerald | |
| "Abby did you brush your hair or wash it or something today!?" | Thom | 24-Dec |
| "Keryn you have a beefy laugh" | Yvonne | 24-Dec |
| (Staring at a blue, teddy bear shaped cake) "I totally didn't expect a cake like this in Africa! I thought maybe a candle in a muffin!" | Thom | 24-Dec |
| "I can't be your hero Thom" | David | 24-Dec |
| (Life story) "I guess I'll just start from the start and go through" | Thom | 24-Dec |
| (Christmas Day) "I dropped the toilet roll down the toilet" | Abby | 25-Dec |
| "Most women should have cellulite!" | Amy | 25-Dec |
| "My girlfriend's name is Wendy. I go to her house every lunchtime" | Thom | |
| "My girlfriend's name is Katherine Francis Cooper, I go to her house about 3 or 4 times a week... I always go after cell-group, and sometimes even at 11 o'clock at night" | Dion | |
| "KFC has real crusty service, but the product is worth it" | Dion | 25-Dec |
| "I always wanted to do communion with snot buns" (During Christmas lunch) | Sharion | 25-Dec |
| "Man this feels good not to have a snotty nose right now" | Solary | 26-Dec |
| "I love these snot moments" (Okay..three unrelated quotes about snot - just great!) | Thom | 26-Dec |
| "It's funny to have flashing lights but no running water" | Abby | 26-Dec |
| "Does the toilet have a light?" | Yvonne | |
| "No, but the light shines through the holes in the door" | Joanna | 26-Dec |
| (Some white strangers at the border) "We are from Dargaville" | ||
| "This might sound strange... but do you know the Smiths?" | Angela | 26-Dec |
| "I can go three weeks without washing it - I've trained my hair" | Kay | 27-Dec |
| "Where are my glasses?" | Kay | |
| "On your eyes" | Angela | 27-Dec |
| "My wisdom comes and goes" | Dion | 27-Dec |
| "My name is Storm" | Thom | 27-Dec |
| "Dion blocked the drain" | Thom | |
| ""I thought the shower was an African toilet" | Dion | 27-Dec |
| "It's not what goes in but what comes out that defiles... so don't throw up" | Keryn | 27-Dec |
| "We need a cloth, or maybe someone's undies" (While washing the dishes... sorry - pretty gross huh!) | Sharion | 27-Dec |
| "There is a snake in the boy's room" (To Gaspar) | Yvonne | |
| "It is a lizard" | Gaspar | |
| "A lizard without legs" (To Yvonne) | Keryn | 28-Dec |
| "I'm the time-keeper and I don't even have a watch" | Amy | 28-Dec |
| (To Thom) "You're a fungus... you're our hero" | Abby | 28-Dec |
| "I was born polite" | Dion | 28-Dec |
| "Have you guys like, ever played frisbee with an octopus?" | Sharion | 28-Dec |
| "Put me down, I am not a baby" | Denis | |
| "In my country, I am a black man" | Dion | |
| "You are not a black man" | Denis | |
| "Yes, my father is black" | Dion | |
| "Your father is not a black man" | Denis | |
| "Thom did you know, you were asleep in Gaspar's arms" | Amy | 28-Dec |
| "What's that thing?" | Thom | |
| "A goat" | Gaspar | 28-Dec |
| "When it comes to plastic bag evangelism, Thom's probably the best" | David | |
| "Does anybody mind if I flash my shoulders around a bit?" | Abby | 29-Dec |
| "I have something wet on my neck... oh, it's probably my hat" | Keryn | 29-Dec |
| "Does your photo take good cameras?" | Angela | 29-Dec |
| "I am going to have a green orange" | Abby | 30-Dec |
| "I had a shower this morning…with wet wipes" | Thom | 30-Dec |
| "I love it how everything is so green here - especially with these glasses" | Thom | 30-Dec |
| "Should I pick them out of my nose? No, I don’t think so" (okaay...) | Mansfield | 30-Dec |
| (To Angie) "Maybe I will shower today…or maybe not; maybe I will brush my hair... or maybe not" | Keryn | 30-Dec |
| "Preach straight... they like that" | Gaspar | |
| "They don't like beating around the bush because there are too many bushes" | Keryn | 30-Dec |
| "How do you say, 'What is your name?'" | Solary | |
| "Iko wapi choo" ("Where is the toilet?" Of course, Solary didn't believe her...) | Sharion | 31-Dec |
| "It's a terrible thing to fall into the hands of a living toilet…that's why it doesn’t smell actually - it is so efficient" (Bottom of the longdrop shimmers with maggots. Delicious...) | Mansfield | 31-Dec |
| "We now cross the Waikato River" (on the way to a village) | Gaspar | |
| "We now cross the Auckland Harbour Bridge" (on the way back) | Gaspar | |
| "I really don't like that squishy sinking feeling" | Angie | 31-Dec |
| "They change cars around here as often as undies aye" | Thom | |
| "Yeah, every four days" | Dion | 1-Jan |
| (General guy quote after reading Genesis) "Place your hand under my thigh" | ||
| "He never did place his hand under my thigh - I was deeply disappointed" | David | 1-Jan |
| (To Keryn) "Ooh you need to floss man" | Angela | 1-Jan |
| "Keryn, where did you spit your, umm... toilet paper?" | Angela | 1-Jan |
| "Florence is a girls name" | Abby | |
| "It is not!" | Yvonne | 1-Jan |
| (After talking about why guys go to the gym) "So what is it for guys? Is it facial features or muscles?" | Keryn | 1-Jan |
| "Kapai ienya" | Abby | |
| "Tumeke sana" | Keryn | 2-Jan |
| "Man I'm so hungry I could eat a roll-up" | Dion | 2-Jan |
| (Talking about the toilet) "That hole is so big you'll fall down it" | Abby | 2-Jan |
| "I'm doing puppy-dogs for Christ from now on" | Dion | 2-Jan |
| "Look at the lightning - I love you!" | Yvonne | 2-Jan |
| "The prodigal chapatti returns" | Abby | 3-Jan |
| "If all else fails, preach condemnation" | Thom | 3-Jan |
| "This is a convertible mud hut" | Mansfield | 3-Jan |
| "Hey there's a bit of chapatti in the bottom of my cup" | Thom | 4-Jan |
| "A wife and children are just an accessory" | Thom | 5-Jan |
| "We make toasted sandwiches with an iron - sometimes you get cheese on your pants though" | Dion | 5-Jan |
| "What's food you can eat in a sad movie?" | Angela | |
| "Ugali" | David | 5-Jan |
| "Hey there's a bug by my bed that glows in the dark" | Amy | 5-Jan |
| "Are you ready for a revelation?" | Gaspar | |
| "Because Gaspar knows there is so much more" | Abby | 6-Jan |
| "Do you want a shower first?" | Sharion | |
| "Yes, but YOU are dirty" | Joanna | 6-Jan |
| "I almost slipped down that toilet it was so wet" | Joanna | 6-Jan |
| "So be careful of the flies from dropping into your tea" | ||
| "Go back big big big big big" (The general African intentions become known) | Naftali | 7-Jan |
| (To Naftali) "Do people call you Naff?" | Amy | 7-Jan |
| "I don't care how 'friendly' I get, I love mangos" | Keryn | 7-Jan |
| "Last year my Bible had red mud on it, this year it'll have mango all over it - it's a nations Bible" | Abby | 7-Jan |
| "Fred has changed this year - he is smaller with lots of little ones" | Joanna | |
| "Jo - Fred has Fredlets" | Abby | 7-Jan |
| "You’ve got polka dots - so hot" | Joanna | |
| "You’ve got chickens - that’s hot too" | Keryn | 7-Jan |
| "Everyone needs an African father and I will be yours. When you come to Africa, don’t be worried, you have a dad in Africa" | Gaspar | |
| "If anyone wants any mango ever - come to me and I'll give it to you" | Keryn | |
| "...Like the mango on your face" | Abby | |
| "I have heaps in my pillowcase" | Keryn | 8-Jan |
| "What do the hot-springs look like?" | Solary | |
| "They are hot and bouncy" | Abby | 8-Jan |
| (About toilet paper rationing) "I have a roll and a half per day left" | Abby | 8-Jan |
| "He spit so hard it went up his nose!" | Keryn | |
| "Well there goes my Larium - that's the most explosive tablet I've ever had" | David | 8-Jan |
| "I love you with all of my bowels" | Abby | 8-Jan |
| (Okay, now we have the ongoing saga of the plum jam... This jam is in an open tin, in a clear snap-lock plastic bag with many ants suspended in the long-fermented mixture... It followed us through many wop villages despite our attempts to dispose of it) "Oh that jam is following us!" |
Abby | 7-Jan |
| "You take the initiative Abby - you show the jam who's boss" | Dave | 9-Jan |
| "If the jam comes back, I'll kill it!" | Abby | 9-Jan |
| "Aauggh! We've thrown the jam away 5 times and they keep putting it back into our box" | Abby | 9-Jan |
| "It's a generational curse" | David | 9-Jan |
| "Yeah, we cast it out, but didn't replace it with the Holy Spirit, so it keeps coming back" | Abby | 9-Jan |
| "I'm not going to be able to watch anything about dolphins without thinking about snoring" | Abby | 9-Jan |
| "I've used about one-fifth of a toilet roll the whole trip" | Thom | 9-Jan |
| "This is just the beginning of the rest of our lives" | Abby | 9-Jan |
| "I should have brought my sandal repair kit" | Thom | 10-Jan |
| (At 5:30am) "Can you shine your toothbrush over here?" | Thom | 10-Jan |
| "Ooh sand hanitiser" | Mansfield | 10-Jan |
| "To wind or not to wind" | Keryn | |
| "Oh, not that kind of wind" | Mansfield | 10-Jan |
| "What is your wife's name?" | Solary | |
| "It's been two weeks - I've forgot" | Naftali | 10-Jan |
| "Do you have a wet one?" | Sharion | |
| "Yes, but it tastes like chlorine" | Abby | 10-Jan |
| "I swallowed somebody's bone" | Keryn | 11-Jan |
| "I am old and if I do not look after you, your parents might ask... shoot me!" | Gaspar | 11-Jan |
| "Sprite? Oh... You fear because of Spirit" | Gaspar | 11-Jan |
| (To Solary) "The baby wants studies law" | Gaspar | 11-Jan |
| "At the border we need everyone to be on - we're changing the lightbulb" | Yvonne | 11-Jan |
| "I had muesli and soy sauce" | Keryn | 12-Jan |
| "I needed to go toilet, but it cost 5 shillings" (Now that's a woman of principle!) | Amy | 12-Jan |
| "I'm so proud of my nose... Been delivered of my boogs" | Solary | 12-Jan |
| "Some of us didn't like chickens watching us showering" | Abby | |
| "I liked chickens watching me" | Dion | 12-Jan |
| (At 11:30pm) "Our bodies are tired, but our spirits are on fire" | Thom | 12-Jan |
| "I feel pretty - I'm not wearing a chicken" | Joanna | 13-Jan |
| (Travelling to the airport squished in the van) "I'm quite fond of your sweaty armpit actually" | David | 13-Jan |
| "I don't know where it is called" | Yvonne | 13-Jan |
| "Being frisked is fun - I quite like it" | Joanna | 13-Jan |
| (12:30am) "I'm so disappointed - I can't sit on my boat" | Sharion | 14-Jan |
| "To change my embarrassment, I must first change my song" | Yvonne | 14-Jan |
| "Did anyone go on a squatting toilet on a train? That's like surfing in a storm" | Paul Saunders | Re-intro |
| "Does anyone have a hat that I can... Nope, I'll put a shoe on my head" | Abby | |
| "She's the only Cambodian living in New Zealand with an African dad" (What Solary got awarded for at the re-commissioning service) |
||
| "What colour is it?" | Keryn | |
| "Purple" | Angela | 28-Jan |
And some general quotes: |
||
| "I can be your hero baby" | Thom | |
| "When I say [...], you say [...]!" | Thom | |
| "Great great, just great" | Thom | |
| "So... Are there any relationships in your life?" | Joanna | |
| "Shottie hottie" | Joanna | |
| "You are so Hot right now" | Joanna | |
| "She's a foxy mama" | Sharion | |
| "Good kiwi girls and boys get in the van" | Naftali | |
| "To change my perception I must first change myself" | David | |
| (Faux Australian accent) "Gidday mate, my name's Bruce" | David | |
| "Mmm... That's my favourite!" | Keryn | |
| "Nice, very nice" | Keryn | |
| (And the team topic of interest and much talk) "How are your 'friends'?" | ||